Dear House On The Hill,
Due to my inability to drive in a straight line, I have been
left with broken ribs after being involved in a traffic
accident.
The A’ Team captain agrees with my wife and doctors, who say
that I should not bowl for several weeks.
I love my bowling, what should I do ?
Concerned from Priory
Dear Concerned,
Stop thinking of yourself all the time, it’s only broken ribs
and the B’ Team are a player short this week. See You Thursday
you wimp
Dear House On The Hill,
My husband has bowled on a Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday and
Sunday for almost 20 years, recently he had a fall at work which
has left him housebound.
I am not sure that I can put up with anymore of his bowling
stories, I may have to kill him.
How can I get him back bowling ?
Bowling Widow from Oakham
Dear Bowling Widow,
Unfortunately, I know who you are talking about and as we have
suffered 20 years of the same stories, we don’t want him back.
Kill him.
Dear House On The Hill,
I am getting married to a fellow bowler next year, it’s a summer
wedding and I am very excited about it, I love my partner very
much but I have got my doubts about his feelings towards me.
Last night we were discussing our honeymoon which is expected to
be in August. He has already arranged the date of the wedding on
a Saturday when there is no bowling and now he is refusing to go
on honeymoon during the season. Does he love bowling more than
me ?
Upset Stourbridge
Dear Upset,
Don’t worry little lady, we’ll go on honeymoon as soon as I’ve
made sure that Desperate from Priory will cover for me.
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Dear House On The Hill,
I have been a regular in the Hilly House A’ Team for over 15
years.
Recently I have found myself befriending members of the B’ Team.
The latest example of this is when I went along to a night out
dancing in Gornal with six of them.
As one of the best bowlers in the club, I am worried that by
mixing with the B’ team I might be dragged down to their level
and start enjoying myself.
Worried Dudley
Dear Worried,
Lighten up big man, winning isn’t everything (I should know).
Try enjoying yourself, it may change you into a crap bowler but
you never know you may live longer.
Dear House On The Hill,
Having quit the club at the end of last season, I have been
talked into making a guest appearance due to a severe lack of
players this month. Since agreeing to play in this “one off”
game, I have made twelve appearances and have been talked into
playing on a Thursday for the remainder of the season. I intend
to quit again after this season, how can I avoid being talked
into playing again?
Desperate Priory
Dear Desperate,
You will play again next season, we know your phone number, we
know your address, we know where you work, we know where you
drink and most importantly, we know some very big blokes with
some very big knuckles.
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