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ARIES
(March 21 – April 19) This will be a year of bowling
successes, personal triumphs and unprecedented good fortune… for
other people. Your year? Lots of spite and envy.
TAURUS
(April 20 – May 20)
We recommend you use the technique of positive visualization
throughout this year. We know it won’t work, but we think it’s
funny when you try.
GEMINI
(May 21 – June 21)
You know that defeat that you’ve been trying really hard to
forget about? This year you’ll lose so many games to make that
dream a reality!
CANCER
(June 22 – July 22)
You can choose either a year of love, pleasure and health or a
year of heartache, pain and suffering. Oh, wait … you bowl for
the Hilly House. Sorry old chap.
LEO
(July 23 – Aug. 22)
Distrust
any bowler that shakes your hand before a game this year, he’s
going to give you a real beating.
VIRGO(Aug.
23 – Sep. 22)
The moon of Uranus is
likely to get you banned from the league this season, so don’t
do it.
LIBRA
(Sep. 23 – Oct. 23)
Always get
a second opinion: consult Nostradamus, He’ll say your year is
going to suck. Second opinion not needed !!
SCORPIO
(Oct. 24 – Nov.
21) With
Mercury and Mars at war, you will find the number 50 very lucky
this year, except in the 49ers’ of course.
SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 22 –
Dec. 21)
An unexpected win against this year Lee Maslin gives you
something to tell your grandchildren about for many years..
CAPRICORN
(Dec. 22 – Jan.
19)
Throughout this year, you’ll keep asking yourself the same
question: “Am I doing the right thing?” We know that you know
that you know the answer.
AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20 – Feb.
18) You’ll
be anxious, but not hungry or thirsty, and you won’t feel like
bowling. Prepare for a year of that.
PISCES
(Feb. 19 – March 20)
Both the
Saturn and Pluto say that you are going to be a very successful
bowler this season. But Saturn and Pluto haven’t seen you play….
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